14.

"Mugs? You want to take a theory about mugs and apply it to men?"

"Not mugs. Tea cups. And not some random theory. A buddhist teaching. To see a teacup as already broken. I mean, I'm bound to drop this cup one day. Or lose it. Or give it away. Nothing in life is permanent. There is no point getting attached. I can not live in fear of breaking it. I don't want to 'protect' the fragile thing at all times. I realize it is going to break someday, and I make my peace with it"

"So you're being indifferent to it? If you've already lost it - or at any rate, are eventually going to lose it - why would you care. You are going to fling it around in the wrong notion that it has to break anyway?"

"On the contrary. I don't store it in bubble wrap and packing nuts but neither do I play fetch with it. Instead, I use it, love it's unique design and shape, appreciate it. Cherish the times I have with it. And when it does shatter, I let it. I feel the sadness and pain of having broken the cup, the memories of all the rainy days; but no regret, because I knew fully well that it had to happen. I will miss the broken cup, but I will allow myself to pick up another one without guilt. And enjoy and cherish that one just as fully."

"I still maintain that men and fine china are not interchangeable"

13. Boyzone

Suddenly there are too many boys. Turns out, all one needed to do to get a boy, is to say that one wanted a boy. That sounds too good to be true, right? But sometimes, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Anyway. So many boys. Boys who are so far away that even the long arm of the law is not long enough to reach out and hug them. And then boys so near I can practically eat off their plate without too much trouble.

The boys far away want emotional commitment. I don't think I even know what that means. The boys closer want cuddles. That is always welcome. There are boys somewhere in between who are my favorite pillow talkers. Presently, between all these multiple boys, I have one whole boy. A complete boy made up of parts of different boys. (Gross imagery unintended.) That's cool, right? I'm the adjusting types. Not too demanding. I'll take whatever you can offer, kinds. Wait, that makes me sound like a charitable organization. I don't know if I'm cool with the implications of that. Wait. I don't even know what the implications are. Will someone enlighten me?

And amidst all this, there is some kind soul out on the interwebs, who is being my, um, wellwisher and suggesting other blogs to date mine. If you're reading this, I've been trying hard to track you. I need to tell you more about my preferences, not that the work you've done so far is any less than acceptable (Dear prospective date blog, my blog is winking at you); just that I was hoping you could do me some matchmaking favors as well. My blog might be elitist and refuse to date other blogs, but I am certainly not.

As far as the boys in my life presently reading this, I lurve you all, without prejudice. But some more than others. I hope that's cool with you.

12. There is something about Maragadhavalli alias Mary

"Macha. I lou you man"
"Me too man, me too"
"You mean you lou yourself. Selfish fellow"
"And others apart from you as well"

***********

"Don't you wonder what it feels like, to fall in love with someone; to throw caution to the wind"
"...and pledge affection and commitment with reckless abandon?"
"Look around you! People are diving in headfirst, and all you can do is gingerly put your toes in the water"
"Maybe I am better off dry!"
"Then you don't have the right to whine and complain about dry spells!"

*********

Tell me this, boys, aren't you supposed to be the sex that is freaked out by exclusivity and commitment? Aren't you supposed to want to play the field? Then why does every boy I want to date want me to fall in louwes with him? And in louwes only with him? It didn't used to be like this, boys. Is it because you have grown older now? Do you have some kind of biological clock that is ticking away that we don't know about? Is this what I get for asking gender stereotypes to be broken? Is this what too many Disney movies with extraspecialeffects does to people?

While I try to get to the bottom of this, if anyone of you tells me about soulmates, I will egg your face. If you want to talk about solemates (the shoe sole kinds, not the "you are my wunnandwunly; my sole mate" kind. I don't want to talk about the latter) or molemates (the macham kind, not the vermin kind. Although, I don't mind talking about the latter) on the other hand... grab a chair!

11. Tomboy. Because it's so much easier.

Me and the roommate went shopping this week. You know, some girl- girl bonding. Seeing as she's leaving and all. We went to those stores where we would spend evenings and money. And to those stores where we wanted to spend evenings and time, but not money. Which include clothing stores (but ofcourse.) You see, the roommate, unlike me,is a regular, normal girl. By which I mean, she is not a tomboy. So she buys pretty girl clothes. And for some strange reason, I think I wanted to be girl pretty for a while too. I suppose I wanted to "attract" boys. But you know, I've had a fair share of boys by just being me, and those are the kind of boys I like anyway. Boys who like girl-girls are weird. Anyway, point being, I have girl clothes now. Dresses. And skirts. They're pretty. I put them on and plopped on my couch and ate cheese sticks while watching America's Next Top Model. It made me feel like I did when I was a kid and amma would dress me in a sari and I would pretend to be a mami making dosai (except for the America's Next Top Model part, of course). I wondered why I hadn't tried this before.

So. These girl clothes. They have pink on them. And frills. And flowers. And no sleeves. I realized, right the day I put on this one summery dress (Yes. I used the word "summery". As an adjective. For clothes. You have to do things like that when you put on a dress. It's in the contract.) that the reason I stuck to pants and boy t-shirts was this: they are just so much lesser work. There is just so many things you have to do to properly pull off a girl outfit.

First, those things vary widely with occasion. Until now, I had two types of clothes: regular clothes - consisting of pants and whatever shirt I happened to be able to get my hands on; and formals- pants and a clean, pressed, button down shirt. But these girl clothes? They are different for being "professional", "formal (during the day)", "formal (in the evening)", "formal (at dinner and later)", "formal(at a party)", "party", "evening", "shopping", "coffee" and all other sundry events/beverages/random-english-words-that-have-no-business-being-an-adjective-for-clothes. (Seriously- cocktail "dress"? Cocktails are drinks, people. Make sense.) So you need that many different kinds of girl clothes.

Second, apart from the clothes themselves being pricey, there are companion spendings also required. For starters, the girl clothes have no pockets. I'm a pocket person. Every time I have to leave the house, I pat my sides to check if I have my wallet, id, phone and keys in my pockets. I literally count "1,2,3,4" in my head, and I'm out. No bags. Definitely no purses. I don't even own a purse. So this day, when I'm out in this 'summery' dress, I had to carry these in my hand. But I realized, half an hour after I had left home, that I didn't have my phone with me. And I came to terms with the fact that if I need to wear girl clothes, I will need to have a purse. Additional expense #1.This is when the roommate asks me "Are you going to get just one? If you're not going to buy more than one, you should get something that is neutral". So there. Not just purse. Purses. More spending. Then I find out that all this extra fitting doesn't stop with a purse. You need to accessorize. Shoes. I own a pair of sneakers, a pair of running shoes, a pair of leather slip ons, a pair of beach sandals and this one pair of black slippers. I think that's already too many shoes to have. But it turns out that only the slippers "can be worn with a dress, and even that, just barely". I need to buy girl shoes to go with the girl clothes. Earrings. Necklaces. Watches. All girl type things. And all expensive.

But the worst of it all, is the fact that these clothes stop at the knees.Or just below the knees. Or waay above the knees (In the last case, you can't even sit down. Unless you're wearing tights underneath the clothes. Or, in my case, bicycle shorts. I'm not spending anymore.). You know what that means right? (Queasy type boys, you might want to look away. I'm going to actually say it, out here, out loud. You have been warned) You have to constantly shave your legs. Or savagely pull out hairs from the roots. Or burn them away with nasty smelling goop. Everyday. Every week. Every month. More time, more money. More bending, more spending. Foul stenches. Razor nicks.Gaaah!

I am done trying to be girl pretty. I have the clothes. I will wear them with earrings and high heels, put on a flowery apron and walk around the kitchen flipping pancakes, singing '50s Hollywood songs and generally being Donna Reed. Or when I'm trying to get some boy's attention. But otherwise, I'm happy in my styleless tomboy clothes. Boys, next time a girl takes forever to get ready, give her the time.Trust me. take my word for it. It's not easy. And girl-girls, I have a new found respect for you. Or a newfound disdain. I'm not sure which, yet.

10.

"I realized.. I want a house husband. I hate housework, and I love my job. S..o, I want a house husband and I will demand dowry."

"you need a sex change operation, don't you?"

"no.. I'm just a guy who's very comfortable in a girl's body. I love my girl body..."

"So you just need to find your opposite. Right"

"Yes, a girl's mind in a guy's body. Preferably a nice, hot body. That's all I need to find, and I'm set for life"

"Craigslist!! Look for it on Craigslist!"